A Pastor's Ponderings and Such

Posts tagged ‘Meditation’

Beauty As Sustenance

I will find beauty
It is a treasure I seek
Beauty at its core
Substantial beauty that I might miss
When I only look on the surface

In the morning upon rising
It is my inspiration
After a long day
It is a reward for my sometimes tattered heart

I will find beauty
In the likely places
Of nature, friends, and creativity

I will seek beauty
Especially
In the unlikely places

I seek this treasure of beauty
As my food and drink
As my shield against bitterness
As my strength to stand in grace

Peace,
Pastor Kneebone

Experience Is A Hard Teacher

Job 14:7-15

“For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease. Though its root grows old in the earth, and its stump dies in the ground, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put forth branches like a young plant. But mortals die, and are laid low; humans expire, and where are they? As waters fail from a lake, and a river wastes away and dries up, so mortals lie down and do not rise again; until the heavens are no more, they will not awake or be roused out of their sleep. O that you would hide me in Sheol, that you would conceal me until your wrath is past, that you would appoint me a set time, and remember me! If mortals die, will they live again? All the days of my service I would wait until my release should come. You would call, and I would answer you; you would long for the work of your hands.

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 Job is having an experience of grief and torment that he has never known before. He is in anguish and so he laments and wails. His friends accuse him of sin and unrighteousness which he denies. This only creates a greater accusation from his friends that Job is in the wrong. They cite their beliefs, many of which we can find in the book of Proverbs, that those who do good receive good and those who do bad receive bad.

Job says in 12:4 and 5, “I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called upon God and God answered me, a just and blameless man, am a laughingstock. In the thought of one who is at ease there is contempt for misfortune; it is ready for those whose feet slip.” And then Job continues saying that he is innocent and that he will insist on that to God’s face.

We feel comfortable when we can confidently blame the victim of what has befallen them. It helps us to believe God is simple and that life is simple.

But Job has other things to say about that. He has learned that life and God are far more complicated. He also believes that others need to know about this as well. He says,

 

Job 19:23-27

“O that my words were written down! O that they were inscribed in a book! O that with an iron pen and with lead they were engraved on a rock forever! For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last God will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus destroyed, then in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see on my side, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!

Job is in the midst of a difficult lesson … the one that only experience can teach. In an earlier reading of this story we learn that Job used to be someone others came to with their problems. He was revered as being wise and sought out for inspiration. He did give counsel well. And he also helped folks find their footing and find their can-do spirit. The trouble was that Job had apparently been protected all his life. God baited the Accuser to consider Job and his righteousness. The Accuser indicted God of setting a hedge of protection about Job. Of course he acts righteous, is the inference, but is he really righteous? Take down the protections and Job will curse you, God.

But Job does not curse God. Instead he questions. He rails. He curses his own life but he does not curse God.  Mostly, he learns. What he learns he longs to tell others. He longs for his words to be written in a book. Although throughout his life he was one considered wise and sought after for advice and inspiration he understands that now he truly knows what only experience could have taught him.

Experience is a hard teacher though. Even if he wrote down everything that he went through, as this story supposes he did, who could truly understand what he is talking about except those who have also experienced incredible loss, grief, pain, and hopelessness. When Job says in chapter 19 that he wants to write this down and that part of his testimony is that he knows his Redeemer lives he is saying this from a particular experience. It is not trite. It is not religion. It is the experience of the Presence who is God. Those of us who may not have experienced the devastation of Job might read these words and think, “of course God is present with us.”

The truth is that one doesn’t know hunger until there is no food to eat. One doesn’t know thirst until there is no water to drink. One doesn’t know grief until death has taken a part of you. The book that Job would write is one that we might read and then look back on after calamity and say, “ah … now I understand.” It is also a book to read and say to oneself, “Now I know that I am not alone in the world.”

The story is meant to slow us down, to make us think deeply, and to feel deeply. When we identify with one of Job’s friends we might pray, “O God, help me listen more fully and care more completely.”

When we listen to Job we might pray, “Divine Presence, help me remember that you are with me always and in everything. That you grieve with me and experience my plight in ways I will never understand. It doesn’t make the situation okay, but it gives me strength and hope. It also gives me determination to make a difference for the better in this big beautiful world you have given us creatures.”

God bless us … if not with a hedge of protection then with an indwelling Holy Presence. May we never curse God but instead learn. And God help us to never forget our learnings so that when we abound we will always remember those who are constantly in the grip of pain, hopelessness, and grief. Let that remembrance turn into love so that we might be a holy presence in the lives of others.

Grief Stricken – The Pulse Massacre

Rainbow Stained Glass CrossThe news becomes more and more clear about what happened in Orlando, Florida at the nightclub called Pulse. Phrases like “Deadliest mass shooting in the U.S.” and “Names of gun massacre victims released” throb in my heart with an emotional arrhythmia. But my claims on sorrow and grief are nothing compared to the families of those who experienced the terror and to the Orlando community.

What is happening to us? What is happening in the U.S.? I have read comments that commended this violence as the work of God. At these words … no, at this belief … my heart explodes in pain.

In the early ’80’s I went to gay clubs to dance and be myself in a way I could not be in public. I didn’t have to explain myself or listen patiently while I was told I was going to hell or needed psychiatric treatment. I went knowing that our joy with shields down could come to an end in a moment if someone with violent intent entered our sanctuary. I danced anyway.

Now we have some laws which protect some rights of LBGTQQIAA folks.But laws don’t change hearts. Relationships change hearts. Talking through disagreements changes hearts. Listening deeply to one another – through faith and fear – changes hearts.

I ask you to pray today about this massacre at Pulse in Orlando, FL. For those who have died. For those who are injured. For those who are filled with terror. For the families of the victims. For those who need prayer in whatever way and for whatever reason.

Today is a day of deep listening to the pain of violence. Today is a day of prayer to transform hateful hearts to loving hearts. Today is a day of crying in grief for the terror that the people in Pulse experienced. Today is a day to find strength from the Sacred and Holy. Today is a day to hold the past and the present while setting our faces like flint to the future, walking in Pride and Faith. This nation we live in is not one nation, indivisible. We must work, sweat, pray, and come together shedding our hate and reaching for hope. If we believe in Liberty and Justice for all in this land we have to think, love, and live differently. Today is a day that God is weeping rainbow tears. What will we do tomorrow?

 

Trust For Joy – Christmas Sunday

angel trumpet 12Isaiah 9:2 – 7

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness — on them light has shined. You have multiplied the nation, you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as people exult when dividing plunder. For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian. For all the boots of the tramping warriors and all the garments rolled in blood shall be burned as fuel for the fire. For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His authority shall grow continually, and there shall be endless peace for the throne of David and his kingdom. He will establish and uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time onward and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.

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Because of a child that was born there is joy for the people. Why does this particular child bring so much joy? Because this child will focus on endless peace. He will see us all equally and treat us all with integrity. He will remove the needless burdens others make us carry. And the memories that cause us pain and nightmares will be healed.

The kind of joy that is described is like that of people dividing plunder. Probably because of our Christmas season this makes me think of kids at the Christmas tree gleefully unwrapping presents that they were surprised to find there. There is an excitement to joy as well as a deep sense of security. To me that is what makes it different from being happy. Happiness can be fleeting. Joy is grounded in a truth that will see you through tough times. Having joy, even if it is just a glimmer, can be the reason you get through tough times.

This is important because although Jesus was born and he is who we call Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace; even though he does see us all equally and treat us all with integrity, the lived experiences of people on this great planet of ours does not often reflect that ideal.

We also might reflect on the fact that the world is not experiencing peace. There are still wars of many kinds going on as well as domestic violence and oppression. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s words still ring true in his poem “Christmas Bells” which he wrote Dec 25, 1863. His son was fighting in the civil war as a Union Soldier. He was badly injured and close to death. In the depth of his despair he wrote this poem which includes specific mention of the civil war. In one stanza he speaks of the canons from the south drowning out the carols of peace on earth and good will. The poem continues this way …

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!”

In that last stanza what I hear is a man who is trusting God. What are these bells which are ringing out more loud and deep? Might they be bells of joy? A joy which is a foundation and security. One which allows room for change, transformation, hope, and a future peace?

Jesus wasn’t born because everything was okay and he just wanted to party with us. He was born, divinity wrapped in humanity, to be the bells that pealed more loud and deep. And then he passed on his mission to us.

Joy and beauty and amazement and wonder are contagious. So is evil, hate, violence and that lot. Equally contagious is ambivalence which tends to lead to atrophy, which degrades into evil, hate, and violence. The Christ-Centered mission that Jesus passed on to us is one of offering healing, hope, wholeness, beauty, and determined love to everyone. equally and treat us all with integrity. We are to remove the needless burdens others are made to carry. We can also help them remove the memories that cause them pain so that their nightmares will be healed.

If every day you can meditate on the joy in your life of having been transformed through love by our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace – divinity wrapped in humanity … if every day you can do this … then you will be a bell that peals more loud and deep for others to hear, to have hope, and to experience a joy that will move them.

But first you have to trust the joy that God has given you. Dust if off if you have to. Recite the truth of it in your soul. Get out the spiritual WD-40 and work its hinges so that they become free.

Remember with me and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that God is not dead nor doth God sleep. God lives … and right now we celebrate his new born life with his mother Mary and his father Joseph.

Good News or Bad News?

Over and over angels, Spirit, and Jesus remind us to not give ourselves to fear.  I don’t believe we live in a time which is any more violent or oppressive than any other time. I do believe that we live in a time where mass violence is more easily enacted and that fear mongering is more easily spread.

Sometimes I wonder if going to a worship service holds any meaning. Why get up on a Sunday morning when we are already so tired and so busy? How does it help?

Earlier this week I went to a concert at Culver Academy. Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals were performing. It seemed to me that everyone left the auditorium that night feeling good, possibly inspired. The words and music were uplifting and energizing. That night I heard Good News. It wasn’t preaching … it wasn’t focused on Jesus … but still I heard Good News.

When we rehearse in our minds, hearts, and spirits the voices of bad news then we can become despondent and lifeless. Everything looks bad. Even the good things that we can see are filtered through a gauze of sadness and hopelessness.

We must not give in to the bad news and let it take our lives away. This is the purpose to church. To remind us that there is Good News. To inspire us to face the bad news filtered through a gauze of hope and life. Church is also a place to build determination to be a light in the world and not a damp wet soggy rag.

Gathering together for the purpose of being inspired, determined, and hopeful is the best that a worship service has to offer.  There will always be bad news. We might feel like we have little we can do to change what is going on. But if we give up altogether then bad news has won.

Don’t give up. Rehearse in your mind, hear, and spirit that there is good in the world – that life holds beauty. Consider coming to church to gather together for mutual inspiration.

Philippians 4:8New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Amy Grant and Corrina Gill

Amy Grant was and is very inspirational to me. To gear up for my day I decided to listen to some of her music. There is a lot of good stuff – old and not so old. One of my favourites “Better Than A Hallelujah”. I thought about posting that song but instead decided upon this one. What captured my heart is the way that Amy looks at her daughter Corrina. The love between them is breathtaking, hopeful, and sacred. I hope you enjoy it too.

Drinking Deeply

Yesterday I spoke about Genesis 1 and 2. Both accounts of creation are inspiring and filled with images of God’s love for us. From the creation of light and time to the surgery that God performed on the earth-person – making 2 out of 1 – the story of our Divine Beloved creating both through word and action can fill us with hope and wonder.

When I took the pictures of the gull at the beach I didn’t realize I had gotten one where it’s beak was fully immersed in the water, drinking deeply. That’s what I long for all of our lives to be like … our beaks fully immersed in the River of Life … and we are drinking deeply.

drinking gull